There were days when laughter was abound ….they came like rain, wanton and loud. Mornings spent watching the patterns spread on the wall like jeweled ink blots and yearning clowns. Evenings on the rooftop watching the world tick away…sky a molten yellow and gray, speckled with paprika clouds. Nights on the balcony, listening to music, reading from books like far from the madding crowd.
Days that began with uncertain hellos and ended with unspoken goodbyes…
The wind is heavy with the luscious goodness of unfallen rain…leaves behave like they have no nest…the sun a truant boy bouncing off curtains long…the smell of spiced tea with cinnamon strong…me ensconced in a layer of lyrics hauled up from various cupboards of the mind…serenading the innocence of yesterdays.
you could be happy…
Does it ever happen to you …when your ‘life’ seems to acquire a ‘life’ of its own? When it recedes into it’s shell and watches the comings and goings with an avid sangfroid….waiting for something or nothing, not hurting but not forgetting either but always always wanting to hop into rain puddles, huddle around liberally sweetened hot tea, waving at sunflowers tall, straining to hear the temple bells ring at dawn, watching the passage of the waning moon and complaining to you about new red shoes and him not having called?
….become real in more ways than I allow myself to imagine. Did he call me or was I conversing with him in chapter six of my book…and were I not to hear the phone ring am I hoping it does or does it lie mute against all my fervent prayers muttered in great angst to all my gods. Am I the vagabond living on skipped dreams or do I really show up from time to time in the rat race…do I often huddle down the rabbit hole in hopes of slinging sallies with the caterpillar or do I do that in every other piece of conversation…is Mckenzie my pup or am I just walking him for you… have we met here or then there on the white spaces of my notebook….will you be coming over for dinner or have I just set the table for one?
…is to watch the morning unfold, looking as inviting as buttered toast. The sun is out and someone in the apartment has decided to liven things up by playing the saxophone….it’s odd I always relate the sax to a moonless night. For a brief moment I think I hear the flutter of pigeons…getting breakfast I suppose? As for me I shall squander away the morning for its mine to give. Nothing beats the feeling of warm sun on your back and the spectacle called life.
I collect memories like others do sea shells…and I house them in little jars of colored glass…and when the rain drops incessantly I sit and open my jars quite like I was looking for a cookie …what comes out are remnants of life pieced together in a manner that I like and believe..what is it they say about the whole being bigger than the sum of the parts? Sometimes just sometimes I wish the parts would take up a life of their own and create their very own story….like echoes in the dark.
The sky stood shy almost as if it be the muse posing for an unknown artist who has yet to create his masterpiece. And beyond, the trees cavorted in the sunshine …a beautiful play of light and shadows. The scattered leaves shuffled around like children on a merry go round, the waves indulgent…and for a moment I heard the sound of my own laughter …the one where I am ecstatically happy for no reason at all and I wondered if it was déjà vu or a memory of you but I must have been dreaming cause I do know you’ve always preferred Versace Eros to Paco Rabanne…
I hear you shut the door
Leaving perhaps for something more
I hear you climb down the stairs
Never believing that thing about immortal pairs
I imagine the letter slipped under the door
Left blank as you wouldn’t know what to say
It’s ok I’ve always read between the lines
A no is a no even when there’s no sign