Kismet

I wonder who walked into this relationship blindfolded …. The answer is simple it was me. It’s often said that unless you are spiritually and mentally ready in every sense of the word and you know you are coz such a person would be in love with the self only then can you really be in a relationship. But what can I say iam in love with myself in bits and pieces …. It ebbs and flows like a waning moon. Maybe I was looking for you to fill that deep sense of melancoholy that’s been a friend for long. And like many old friends it often takes off on it’s own but always always to return. I vividly remember a period in the relationship when I believed what you used to say but you said it so often with hardly any nuance that by the end of it I came to realise you say it all to all. I suppose some part of me is angry with myself as to why didn’t I see this coming why I didn’t go with my instinct that you weren’t what you were pretending to be but I shall be indulgent and allow for the fact that you were often very convincing in parts. And now all I can do is make peace with my anger get up and walk away slowly but surely. A guy like you does not deserve my love and so you should consider yourself lucky that I have given you much affection in gay abandon. The least you can do is to cherish it and live to be a better man or atleast live upto your own illusions of self. The path to life is long and often wanderers run into strangers that they may have encountered in some street in some cafe while they were supposedly romancing a silly girl who hung onto their every word. Karma is inevitable and kismet even more so.

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